Friday, April 25, 2014

More houses and industry, or nature?

Given:

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The Sample Essay Draft Step by Step

1. Quickly generate a strong opinion.

I can't live without nature.

2. Generate supportive body topics.

I get the best food from wild plants and animals. I breathe the cleanest air in the wilderness. I drink the cleanest water in the wilderness.

3. Develop body details.

I get the best food from wild plants and animals. They are my source of super nutrients, such as omega six and omega nine. I have read many articles documenting that these essential fatty acids are lacking in corn-fed livestock. I have also read many articles documenting that cultivated vegetables and fruits have been altered to be less fibrous and sweeter than their wild counterparts. The more sugar and less fiber I consume, the more I gain weight and suffer fatigue.

I breathe the cleanest air in the wilderness. In my experience, my allergies and other respiratory problems disappear when I am away from urban or even suburban developed areas. I think the air is not only cleaner because in the wilderness I am away from gas exhaust and micro-particulate, but also because so much foliage acts as a natural filter.

I drink the cleanest water in the wilderness, If I am lucky enough to get far away from urban household and industrial waste water, then I don't have to worry about heavy metal contamination or persistent organic pollutants. I can drink water that falls from a clean sky and percolates through porous rock. What would I need a filter for?

4. Organize paragraph order and embed transitions.

So my first content paragraph details logically follow from their topic sentence, I revise my topic sentence: I get the best food from wild animals and plants. Also, using transitions, such as first, second, and finally, would improve reader navigation.

5. Formulate thesis sentence.

I prioritize conservation of natural areas over development for housing and industry because I get the best food from wild animals and plants, I breathe the cleanest air, and drink the cleanest water in the wilderness.

6. Draft introduction.

Every time I see a bulldozer knocking down trees and digging deep holes for another Mcmansion, apartment complex, shopping center, or factory, I lose my temper. I pass by so many empty buildings that could be recycled. And I fear for my own health. I prioritize conservation of natural areas over development for housing and industry because I get the best food from wild animals and plants, I breathe the cleanest air, and drink the cleanest water in the wilderness.

7. Draft conclusion.

I am a conservationist because I can't stay healthy eating factory foods, breathing foul air, and drinking toxic water. My brain and body depend on the varied and balanced nutrition that comes from organisms only in complete ecosystems, the wilderness. The more fumes and micro-particulate I breathe, the sicker my lungs and heart get. The more toxins I take in from both unnatural air and water, the less my kidneys and liver are able to keep up their filtering jobs and I am poisoned to death over time. I can't live without nature.

8. Proofread.

Every time I see a bulldozer knocking down trees and digging deep holes for another Mcmansion, apartment complex, shopping center, or factory, I lose my temper. I pass by so many empty buildings that could be recycled. And[,] I fear for my own health. I prioritize conservation of natural areas over development for housing and industry because I get the best food from wild animals and plants, [breathe] the cleanest air, and drink the cleanest water in the wilderness.

I get the best food from wild plants and animals. They are my source of super nutrients, such as omega six and omega nine. I have read many articles documenting that these essential fatty acids are lacking in corn-fed livestock. I have also read many articles documenting that cultivated vegetables and fruits have been altered to be less fibrous and sweeter than their wild counterparts. The more sugar and less fiber I consume, the more I gain weight and suffer fatigue.

I breathe the cleanest air in the wilderness. In my experience, my allergies and other respiratory problems disappear when I am away from urban or even suburban developed areas. I think the air is not only cleaner because in the wilderness I am away from gas exhaust and micro-particulate, but also because so much foliage acts as a natural filter.

I drink the cleanest water in the wilderness[.] If I am lucky enough to get far away from urban household and industrial waste water, then I don't have to worry about heavy metal contamination or persistent organic pollutants. I can drink water that falls from a clean sky and percolates through porous rock. What would I need a filter for?

I am a conservationist because I can't stay healthy eating factory foods, breathing foul air, and drinking toxic water. My brain and body depend on the varied and balanced nutrition that comes from organisms only in complete ecosystems, the wilderness. The more fumes and micro-particulate I breathe, the sicker my lungs and heart get. The more toxins I take in from both unnatural air and water, the less my kidneys and liver are able to keep up their filtering jobs and I am poisoned to death over time. I can't live without nature.

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